Jim Bennett Blog » INFLUENCING

INFLUENCING

Effective INFLUENCE is only possible when there is acceptance of the other.

While we do not control others we do influence each other. In fact it’s your job if you are a parent, manager, older sibling etc to influence others. But influence is not control. As soon as the other senses you are attempting to control them they close up and you lose your influence. Whereas if you simply accept them as they are, they are likely to stay more open and you will therefore have greater influence. Here lies the subtle line between control and influence.

CONFLICT RESOLUTION can only begin when one side accepts the other as they are
In any conflict situation resolution is impossible until one party gives up their resistance and accepts the other as they are, even if it’s for a few minutes. Only then can the conversation, the communication, begin. Only then can the journey towards resolution commence. Acceptance is not the only step, just the first step, but often the hardest. Its here that acceptance is most often mistakenly seen as agreement or acquiescence.

Acceptance is sign that you are OPEN to the other
The shift from resistance to acceptance is also the moment you become open to the other. And when you open to them they are likely to follow and become more open to you… eventually. You only need to be free of ‘wanting’ and ‘expecting’ them to open to you. And as we all know mutual openness is one of the foundations of a relationship that works.

Jim

“ When we have nothing we have everything ”

INFLUENCING

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