Jim Bennett Blog

HOT LEADERSHIP AND THE ART OF INFLUENCE

“The people who are not here are the ones who should be here.”
“I know some people who really need this.”

The above thoughts are some that I hear frequently in my work delivering HOT Leadership seminars. People who are using HOT Leadership principles, and are finding value in the methodology, approach me and ask, “How can I make the people I work with do this as well?” Hmmm, I think, making the adult learner do something. Well this challenge may be right up there with selecting the winning Lottery numbers for an £10 million jackpot…a task requiring magic or luck; neither very reliable.

It is very difficult to tell or make someone do something. Many coaches and parents have fallen short - time and time again trying to create lasting behaviour change through the telling approach. James Flaherty, in his book, Coaching: Evoking Excellence in Others captures this point well when he writes: “Coaching, you see is not telling people what to do; it’s giving them a chance to examine what they are doing in the light of their intentions.”

What often occurs is the person attempting to control another’s behaviour uttering one of the following lines:
• I cannot understand why he/she is not doing what I tell them
• If I’ve told them once, I’ve told them a thousand times
• If you just do what I am telling you to do, things will get better

Regardless of how hard we try to “tell” someone to change behaviour, there is rarely success.

So what are some of the most common HOT Leadership behaviours that we resist? I have listed the top three from my experience. They are:

1. Writing everything down
Everything…. a book you want to get, a call you need to make, a website you need to surf, or a document you need to review, a date and time for an event. The reason for this resistance is simple. In the moment, you are absolutely certain – beyond a doubt – that you will remember the information. Yeah, right. Ever walk into a room to ask or discuss something with someone, only to arrive there staring at the person with the thought not in your head where you left it. Or have you ever gone to the store to buy 6 things, only to come home with 5?

2. Putting things in an “IN” basket (actually getting one for that matter)
The power and sense of control that comes from developing the behavior of placing anything into IN is a wonderful feeling. I recently worked with a very bright and busy attorney at a transportation company. We spoke of the need to collect into one place and how it is vital to good workflow (flow defined as to move along smoothly). We drew the analogy of trains that come into the train yard and the importance of knowing about all of the trains that come into the yard. It is through strong and complete input (COLLECT) that one may generate strong and thorough output (DO).

3. Scheduling time to Process (i.e. to decide the action you need to take)
Scheduling this powerful use of time - that of gaining clarity and direction regarding all of your commitments - is often a resisted behavior. Many people push back and say something to the effect of “I don’t have time to think about my work.” The best response here is often silence so that the comment sinks in and the person evaluates what they have said. Many times, they laugh and say, “Hmm, that doesn’t sound right.” Most people would agree that they are hired to think!

So how do we overcome this resistance? If assisting someone to adopt new behaviour(s) is the challenge, we must first consider two things:

1) many people do not like to change their behaviour/lifestyle even when they know they should
2) they like it even less when they are told to make this change

This resistance to being told to change may be what Winston Churchill touched on when he said, “Personally I’m always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.” So if telling is not the way, then what is? Perhaps it is the Art of Influence. There is an interesting difference in the definition of “control” and “influence”.

control - to exercise authoritative or dominating influence over; direct.
influence – a power affecting a person, thing, or course of events, especially one that operates without any direct or apparent effort

Next time you are faced with the leadership challenge of changing someone’s behaviour – especially relative to HOT Leadership – I would invite you to stay in the influence rather than the control mode. What, you may be asking, are the skills I need to operate from influence mode? Great question.

First and most importantly, move from telling to asking questions. Give some of these a try next time you get the chance to influence another’s behaviour relative to the five phases of HOT Leadership Workflow.

Data gather
How do you capture everything that comes into your world?
Is there anything you want to be different?
Is there anything you can do to make this better?
What do you need to do to create this?

Process
How do you decide what to do with your “stuff”?
When do you do this? Do you think uninterrupted time will help?
Could you schedule this time? Would you? When?

Organise
What happens to the “stuff” that you cannot get done right away?
How do you keep track of it so it is not forgotten or lost?
Anything you want to be different about how you do it now?
What might you do to create this difference?

Review
How do you decide what to do when you are not in meetings?
What would be the impact if everything you needed to get done is in one place?
What can you do to create this?

Do
Is all of your “work” clearly defined right now?
What’s most important right now?
Do you have the time and resources to work on that now?

So next time you think that someone should try some new HOT Leadership behaviours, think about asking some questions. People are more inclined to make changes in their behaviour when they are the ones who come up with these changes! Lead them there.

And always remember that people are watching you, so model HOT Leadership behaviours. It was once said…